“It is an exercise in letting go of each moment as it disappears and accepting that no moment, no matter how exquisite, can be prolonged.”
I love a challenge. I mean I really love a challenge. I am especially happy when the problems that I am attempting to solve are expansive, far reaching, complex, messy with human engagement, have long term implications, and require unobtainable knowledge. For these sorts of problems there usually is not one right solution nor can I solve it alone. Rather I along with my colleagues and associates have to navigate through a number of alternative solutions, each with its associated tradeoffs, to select the best fit at the moment. Resolving them requires one part strategy, one part influence, and three parts grit and tenacity. Tackling such challenges brings me passion and excitement allowing me to live in the moment while simultaneously developing a picture of the future I am working toward. Woo hoo! However, things can rapidly go south for me and those and me if I get attached to a particular outcome or the way we are getting it done.
What do I mean by attached? From a psychological perspective attachment runs the range of a mild emotional adhesion to a neurotic fixation. Regardless of how deep it is, the psychological quality of an attachment is to demand a certainty to be realized. It manifests in a rigid desire to possess or control things, people, experiences, and, of course, outcomes. The level of rigidity depends on the depth of the attachment. So does the level of dissatisfaction one experiences should it not turn out the way one wants it to.
As part of my practice I coach a number of small business owners. They are each extraordinarily passionate about their business. For most, it is an extension of themselves. My experience with great corporate leaders is similar. Whether a CEO or a narrowly focused project manager, what makes them great is their willingness to extend deep passion and ownership into their work. They all ambitiously drive toward particular outcomes using a considered and developed strategy. They work hard to maintain themselves and their team on an envisioned path. And, of course, stuff happens. Unforeseen events, realized risks, even planned for challenges can, and often do, throw an effort off track. Does that mean that we leaders are destined for dissatisfaction and unhappiness? Not at all. Since dissatisfaction manifests from attachment then avoiding the attachment is the trick. That concept of absolute passion and commitment without attachment is what puts the Zen in my ZenLeader logo.
A number of years ago I joined the annual sojourn out to the Black Rock desert for that cultural phenomenon known as “Burning Man.” (1) Many things etched themselves into my psyche at that event – the art; the created alternative social context; the festive atmosphere, the generous, deep connections; the organized chaos; and oh so much more. However, of all its unique aspects, the ephemeral nature of Burning Man is what captivated me as a leader and business person. While much can be said about the event/phenomenon I’ll stick to its logistical and demographic aspects for this discussion. Burning Man is an annual festival held in the Black Rock desert, one of the most inhospitable and remote locations in the United States, on a dry alkali lake bed. There is literally nothing there other than bare, flat, endless, desiccated playa which is subject to daily temperature variations that range between freezing and over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit. With nothing to slow the wind down and miles of silt laden cake, the dust storms are blinding and oppressive. It is absolutely the least likely place for humans to spend time let alone thrive for extended periods.
I say all that to give you context. Now here is the part that blows me away every time I think about it. In this uninviting environment, Black Rock City, Nevada’s tenth largest city, is regenerated each year, swelling at its apex to between forty and fifty thousand citizens, (2). The city has discernable, marked streets laid out in an intuitive grid. It has a post office and institutions, (Center Camp, the Man installation, etc.). It has an operating, well run airport, department of public works, motor vehicle registration, medical facilities, public sanitary facilities, and a fire department. The city blocks are filled with residential developments and public venues all organized with intentional purpose, specified real estate boundaries, and for the most part, some level of planned structure. All of the city’s internal workings are organized and perform well. Beyond the physical and managerial infrastructure, the city has a distinct ethos and culture. Now, here is the kicker. It only lasts for eight days. With some exception on both ends for selected large scale build outs and clean up respectively, the city transitions through its entire lifecycle – genesis, high growth, mature endeavor, decline, and decommissioning – starting on a Monday and ending the following Monday. Just to beat the dead horse let me repeat that. The city is developed, thrives, and dies in perfect, if chaotic, rhythm over an eight day period. Instability and obsolescence is designed into the city’s concept. So, why am I harping on this point?
I have found that the only way I can truly enjoy my every moment of my Burning Man experience is to embrace that each moment is fleeting, unique and beautiful including its inevitable decline and end. It is an exercise in letting go of each moment as it disappears and accepting that no moment, no matter how exquisite, can be prolonged. (The upside to that practice is that the horrible moments do not linger either.)
My Burning Man experience very much reminds me of my childhood years building sandcastles on the beach. I remember working for hours shaping spires, building motes, finding smoothed, etched glass, shells, wood, and pebbles to decorate the parapets and walls. My brother and I would lose ourselves in the creation, limited only by our imagination and ingenuity. However, no matter how grand and elegant we built our sandcastle, in the end the tide would come in and wash it away. So it is with Black Rock City. No matter how bright, beautiful and magical it becomes, it too fades away with the relentless tide of time, leaving the inhabitants with only the specter of the fandango, the aftertaste of the banquet.
I have thought often, since my first Black Rock City experience, of my childhood sandcastles, comparing them to their adult doppelganger in the desert. Over the years, the concept of sandcastle construction has, for me, taken on a broader context in my life. I now view the pursuit of personal objectives and all leadership roles through that lens. For example, as business leaders we are committed to building the best possible enterprise for the given environmental conditions that can be supported by our internal position. We create ambitious, clever plans with expansive objectives. We execute cunning, complex strategies that deliver incredible results. If the conditions were to remain static our labor would yield unending value, a business perpetual generator of sorts, with no additional effort. But, instead of stasis the tide rolls in. Conditions change. The economy fluctuates, or peaks, or craters. Technology changes rendering dated infrastructure irrelevant. New frameworks and models emerge leaving the current operating practices lacking. New competitors migrate into developed markets drawing away captured clients and customers. In business, change is relentless. The waves are forever coming in. We business leaders build sandcastles. Our job is to build the largest, most beautiful, creative, fortified sandcastle possible, until the tide comes in. And, then our job is to build the largest, most beautiful, creative, fortified sandcastle possible, until the tide comes in. And, so it goes. The trick is to love sandcastle building for sandcastle building’s sake. Be absolutely committed to building the best sandcastle. Then let your commitment inform every move you make in building it. However, avoid getting attached to the outcome or the process to get there. Otherwise, you will spend all but brief moments dissatisfied.
In simple terms attachment says, “It must be …” It must be done. It must be a certain way. It must be within specific constraints. It demands that a certainty be realized either in an objective or approach or both. Plans, by their nature, structure an ideal future. In my experience, even the most rigorously constructed plan cannot perfectly predict the future. Thus, we continuously adjust our approach, and sometimes even our objective. If something is not what it must be, as a certainty, then how can you be satisfied? Commitment says, “It will be …” If something is not what it will be then all there is to do is that which will make it so. You can be satisfied doing that which will make it so. You can also sound like Captain Picard, (for you Star Trek, Next Generation aficionados.)
As a leader I now fully claim my nature as a sandcastle builder. I teach my teams how to build sandcastles. I urge those around me to build the coolest of sandcastles. I support them in developing their sandcastle building capacity. I actively seek out the best materials for building sandcastles. I celebrate the sandcastles that we are building. And, when the waves demolish our sandcastle, I rally us to build a new, better sandcastle.
Notes:
(1) If you are not familiar with Burning Man please take a look at the organization’s website at www.burningman.com. I will not attempt to describe here what others have already done quite well.
(2) Las Vegas is the largest Nevada city at 478,434. Carson City is number nine at 52,457. Nevada’s largest cities by population can be found at http://www.togetherweteach.com/TWTIC/uscityinfo/28nv/nvpopr/28nvpr.htm.
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